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第76章（第1页）

“myexcellentfatherdiedaboutfiveyearsago;andhisattachmenttomr.wickhamwastothelastsosteady，thatinhiswillheparticularlyrecommendedittome，topromotehisadvancementinthebestmannerthathisprofessionmightallow—andifhetookorders，desiredthatavaluablefamilylivingmightbehisassoonasitbecamevacant.therewasalsoalegacyofonethousandpounds.hisownfatherdidnotlongsurvivemine，andwithinhalfayearfromtheseevents，mr.wickhamwrotetoinformmethat，havingfinallyresolvedagainsttakingorders，hehopedishouldnotthinkitunreasonableforhimtoexpectsomemoreimmediatepecuniaryadvantage，inlieuofthepreferment，bywhichhecouldnotbebenefited.hehadsomeintention，headded，ofstudyingthelaw，andimustbeawarethattheinterestofonethousandpoundswouldbeaveryinsufficientsupporttherein.iratherwished，thanbelievedhimtobesincere;but，atanyrate，wasperfectlyreadytoaccedetohisproposal.iknewthatmr.wickhamoughtnottobeaclergyman;thebusinesswasthereforesoonsettled—heresignedallclaimtoassistanceinthechurch，wereitpossiblethathecouldeverbeinasituationtoreceiveit，andacceptedinreturnthreethousandpounds.allconnectionbetweenusseemednowdissolved.ithoughttooillofhimtoinvitehimtopemberley，oradmithissocietyintown.intownibelievehechieflylived，buthisstudyingthelawwasamerepretence，andbeingnowfreefromallrestraint，hislifewasalifeofidlenessanddissipation.foraboutthreeyearsiheardlittleofhim;butonthedeceaseoftheincumbentofthelivingwhichhadbeendesignedforhim，heappliedtomeagainbyletterforthepresentation.hiscircumstances，heassuredme，andihadnodifficultyinbelievingit，wereexceedinglybad.hehadfoundthelawamostunprofitablestudy，andwasnowabsolutelyresolvedonbeingordained，ifiwouldpresenthimtothelivinginquestion—ofwhichhetrustedtherecouldbelittledoubt，ashewaswellassuredthatihadnootherpersontoprovidefor，andicouldnothaveforgottenmyreveredfather'sintentions.youwillhardlyblamemeforrefusingtocomplywiththisentreaty，orforresistingeveryrepetitiontoit.hisresentmentwasinproportiontothedistressofhiscircumstances—andhewasdoubtlessasviolentinhisabuseofmetoothersasinhisreproachestomyself.afterthisperiodeveryappearanceofacquaintancewasdropped.howhelivediknownot.butlastsummerhewasagainmostpainfullyobtrudedonmynotice.

“imustnowmentionacircumstancewhichiwouldwishtoforgetmyself，andwhichnoobligationlessthanthepresentshouldinducemetounfoldtoanyhumanbeing.havingsaidthusmuch，ifeelnodoubtofyoursecrecy.mysister，whoismorethantenyearsmyjunior，waslefttotheguardianshipofmymother'snephew，colonelfitzwilliam，andmyself.aboutayearago，shewastakenfromschool，andanestablishmentformedforherinlondon;andlastsummershewentwiththeladywhopresidedoverit，toramsgate;andthitheralsowentmr.wickham，undoubtedlybydesign;forthereprovedtohavebeenaprioracquaintancebetweenhimandmrs.younge，inwhosecharacterweweremostunhappilydeceived;andbyherconnivanceandaid，hesofarrecommendedhimselftogeorgiana，whoseaffectionateheartretainedastrongimpressionofhiskindnesstoherasachild，thatshewaspersuadedtobelieveherselfinlove，andtoconsenttoanelopement.shewasthenbutfifteen，whichmustbeherexcuse;andafterstatingherimprudence，iamhappytoadd，thatiowedtheknowledgeofittoherself.ijoinedthemunexpectedlyadayortwobeforetheintendedelopement，andthengeorgiana，unabletosupporttheideaofgrievingandoffendingabrotherwhomshealmostlookeduptoasafather，acknowledgedthewholetome.youmayimaginewhatifeltandhowiacted.regardformysister'screditandfeelingspreventedanypublicexposure;butiwrotetomr.wickham，wholefttheplaceimmediately，andmrs.youngewasofcourseremovedfromhercharge.mr.wickham'schiefobjectwasunquestionablymysister'sfortune，whichisthirtythousandpounds;buticannothelpsupposingthatthehopeofrevenginghimselfonmewasastronginducement.hisrevengewouldhavebeencompleteindeed.

“this，madam，isafaithfulnarrativeofeveryeventinwhichwehavebeenconcernedtogether;andifyoudonotabsolutelyrejectitasfalse，youwill，ihope，acquitmehenceforthofcrueltytowardsmr.wickhaiknownotinwhatmanner，underwhatformoffalsehoodhehadimposedonyou;buthissuccessisnotperhapstobewonderedat.ignorantasyoupreviouslywereofeverythingconcerningeither，detectioncouldnotbeinyourpower，andsuspicioncertainlynotinyourinclination.

“youmaypossiblywonderwhyallthiswasnottoldyoulastnight;butiwasnotthenmasterenoughofmyselftoknowwhatcouldoroughttoberevealed.forthetruthofeverythinghererelated，icanappealmoreparticularlytothetestimonyofcolonelfitzwilliam，who，fromournearrelationshipandconstantintimacy，and，stillmore，asoneoftheexecutorsofmyfather'swill，hasbeenunavoidablyacquaintedwitheveryparticularofthesetransactions.ifyourabhorrenceofmeshouldmakemyassertionsvalueless，youcannotbepreventedbythesamecausefromconfidinginmycousin;andthattheremaybethepossibilityofconsultinghim，ishallendeavourtofindsomeopportunityofputtingthisletterinyourhandsinthecourseofthemorning.iwillonlyadd，godblessyou.

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