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第76章(第1页)

“myexcellentfatherdiedaboutfiveyearsago;andhisattachmenttomr.wickhamwastothelastsosteady,thatinhiswillheparticularlyrecommendedittome,topromotehisadvancementinthebestmannerthathisprofessionmightallow—andifhetookorders,desiredthatavaluablefamilylivingmightbehisassoonasitbecamevacant.therewasalsoalegacyofonethousandpounds.hisownfatherdidnotlongsurvivemine,andwithinhalfayearfromtheseevents,mr.wickhamwrotetoinformmethat,havingfinallyresolvedagainsttakingorders,hehopedishouldnotthinkitunreasonableforhimtoexpectsomemoreimmediatepecuniaryadvantage,inlieuofthepreferment,bywhichhecouldnotbebenefited.hehadsomeintention,headded,ofstudyingthelaw,andimustbeawarethattheinterestofonethousandpoundswouldbeaveryinsufficientsupporttherein.iratherwished,thanbelievedhimtobesincere;but,atanyrate,wasperfectlyreadytoaccedetohisproposal.iknewthatmr.wickhamoughtnottobeaclergyman;thebusinesswasthereforesoonsettled—heresignedallclaimtoassistanceinthechurch,wereitpossiblethathecouldeverbeinasituationtoreceiveit,andacceptedinreturnthreethousandpounds.allconnectionbetweenusseemednowdissolved.ithoughttooillofhimtoinvitehimtopemberley,oradmithissocietyintown.intownibelievehechieflylived,buthisstudyingthelawwasamerepretence,andbeingnowfreefromallrestraint,hislifewasalifeofidlenessanddissipation.foraboutthreeyearsiheardlittleofhim;butonthedeceaseoftheincumbentofthelivingwhichhadbeendesignedforhim,heappliedtomeagainbyletterforthepresentation.hiscircumstances,heassuredme,andihadnodifficultyinbelievingit,wereexceedinglybad.hehadfoundthelawamostunprofitablestudy,andwasnowabsolutelyresolvedonbeingordained,ifiwouldpresenthimtothelivinginquestion—ofwhichhetrustedtherecouldbelittledoubt,ashewaswellassuredthatihadnootherpersontoprovidefor,andicouldnothaveforgottenmyreveredfather'sintentions.youwillhardlyblamemeforrefusingtocomplywiththisentreaty,orforresistingeveryrepetitiontoit.hisresentmentwasinproportiontothedistressofhiscircumstances—andhewasdoubtlessasviolentinhisabuseofmetoothersasinhisreproachestomyself.afterthisperiodeveryappearanceofacquaintancewasdropped.howhelivediknownot.butlastsummerhewasagainmostpainfullyobtrudedonmynotice.

“imustnowmentionacircumstancewhichiwouldwishtoforgetmyself,andwhichnoobligationlessthanthepresentshouldinducemetounfoldtoanyhumanbeing.havingsaidthusmuch,ifeelnodoubtofyoursecrecy.mysister,whoismorethantenyearsmyjunior,waslefttotheguardianshipofmymother'snephew,colonelfitzwilliam,andmyself.aboutayearago,shewastakenfromschool,andanestablishmentformedforherinlondon;andlastsummershewentwiththeladywhopresidedoverit,toramsgate;andthitheralsowentmr.wickham,undoubtedlybydesign;forthereprovedtohavebeenaprioracquaintancebetweenhimandmrs.younge,inwhosecharacterweweremostunhappilydeceived;andbyherconnivanceandaid,hesofarrecommendedhimselftogeorgiana,whoseaffectionateheartretainedastrongimpressionofhiskindnesstoherasachild,thatshewaspersuadedtobelieveherselfinlove,andtoconsenttoanelopement.shewasthenbutfifteen,whichmustbeherexcuse;andafterstatingherimprudence,iamhappytoadd,thatiowedtheknowledgeofittoherself.ijoinedthemunexpectedlyadayortwobeforetheintendedelopement,andthengeorgiana,unabletosupporttheideaofgrievingandoffendingabrotherwhomshealmostlookeduptoasafather,acknowledgedthewholetome.youmayimaginewhatifeltandhowiacted.regardformysister'screditandfeelingspreventedanypublicexposure;butiwrotetomr.wickham,wholefttheplaceimmediately,andmrs.youngewasofcourseremovedfromhercharge.mr.wickham'schiefobjectwasunquestionablymysister'sfortune,whichisthirtythousandpounds;buticannothelpsupposingthatthehopeofrevenginghimselfonmewasastronginducement.hisrevengewouldhavebeencompleteindeed.

“this,madam,isafaithfulnarrativeofeveryeventinwhichwehavebeenconcernedtogether;andifyoudonotabsolutelyrejectitasfalse,youwill,ihope,acquitmehenceforthofcrueltytowardsmr.wickhaiknownotinwhatmanner,underwhatformoffalsehoodhehadimposedonyou;buthissuccessisnotperhapstobewonderedat.ignorantasyoupreviouslywereofeverythingconcerningeither,detectioncouldnotbeinyourpower,andsuspicioncertainlynotinyourinclination.

“youmaypossiblywonderwhyallthiswasnottoldyoulastnight;butiwasnotthenmasterenoughofmyselftoknowwhatcouldoroughttoberevealed.forthetruthofeverythinghererelated,icanappealmoreparticularlytothetestimonyofcolonelfitzwilliam,who,fromournearrelationshipandconstantintimacy,and,stillmore,asoneoftheexecutorsofmyfather'swill,hasbeenunavoidablyacquaintedwitheveryparticularofthesetransactions.ifyourabhorrenceofmeshouldmakemyassertionsvalueless,youcannotbepreventedbythesamecausefromconfidinginmycousin;andthattheremaybethepossibilityofconsultinghim,ishallendeavourtofindsomeopportunityofputtingthisletterinyourhandsinthecourseofthemorning.iwillonlyadd,godblessyou.

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